Monday, April 27, 2009

Something funny at the bus station

Note: Yes this is another bus station saga sequel but it's a funny one.

While waiting for the bus today, I realized something really funny. Stop staring at the picture will you? Where do you find pigs in KL running around getting humped by a dog. If you don't stop staring I will get my dog to hump you instead. hahaha.

Ok back to the story. I saw the condition below. More like it right? Then there was this mother who was bringing her son to school waiting for a bus. The son asked the mum, "Mummy, what are the 2 doggie doing? The mum had a look and was shocked so she answered her son, "They are just chatting. You know mummy always hug daddy and chat on the sofa? Dogs don't have sofa so they hug each other and chat".

Now comes the fun part. An European guy passed by and snooped listened to the mother and son conversation. He just tap at the small kid and tell him, "Your mummy is lying to you." The boy then turned to his mum and looked at her. She quickly said "Don't listen to the uncle. He is lying to you!". The boy then turned at the man and the man said "Seriously boy, your mum is lying to you. Ask other people here and they will tell you your mum is lying". At this point the mum got mad and said to the son "You should trust your mummy more than strangers right?". Then guess what the man said?






"Fine! They are chatting all right. Would you mind if I "chat" with your mummy for a while?"

The lady dragged her son far from the bus stop after that.

Moral of the story? Don't lie to your kids. LOL!

For more posts on bus stops go to HERE, HERE and HERE.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Murder at the bus stop

Yes, murders are committed at the bus stop and the killers scooted free there after. What is worse is that these murderers kill their victims slowly torturing them to their death. I think this situation will continue to be worse because no one would bother to nab these murderers. All these murders happen right under our eyes. So what can we do? Sit there and wait for another murderer to pass by and kill us all or do something for a change? Are we going to be a civilized society or what?

Before you guys hammer my head asking which murder and which news station, newspaper or tv showed the murder, I am telling you that it's not a murder where someone get a gun at the back of your head and proceed to empty a whole magazine of bullets into your head. Nor is it a murderer who comes to you with a knife to end you up in a bloody mess. I am talking about those smoking murderers. You may ask why I call them murderers. "Isn’t it too sarcastic to call them murderers?" says one of my friends.

Now think it this way. A married woman who wants to marry another handsome bloke begins to put a small amount of arsenic into her husband's morning coffee for about several months before the husband finally meet his maker. What do you call her? A murderer right? She would be trialed in the courts and sentenced to death upon conviction. So what makes the smokers different? If you wanted to commit suicide then by all means do it somewhere such as their own room with doors and windows closed like those suicidal attempts burning charcoal in a closed room. Not puff at the bloody bus stop and then proceed to release those toxic fumes right at the other people waiting for their buses.

It's already tough that we have to inhale those from the buses passing by. We don't want to go that early yet. Things would be worse when it's raining. The bus stop would be crammed and some idiot will just proceed to smoke and share their poison with the whole bus stop. Isn't public places like the bus stop supposed to be a non smoking area? Where are the idiots authorities? Sitting in their air conditioned room happily puffing away? You may argue that the ministry of health started their campaigns.

Seriously do they work? I am actually thinking that it's a waste of public funds for the one who thought up the idea of sticking the picturesque warning sticker on every box of cigarettes. As if it's going to stop people from smoking. There are also full page advertisements too in the newspaper. You know what it did to me the other day when I am having my sandwich while flipping through the newspaper? Imagine what it would do to innocent people having heavy lunch while flipping through the newspaper?

It's like eating a bowl of curry mee when they showed the toilet cleaner advertisement where the toilet bowl is full of poop. YES! It's an idiot's idea which they put on national television some time ago and was thrown out after public complains. There is a restaurant in Penang and also one in KL which serves curry mee in miniature toilet bowls. Where they get those ideas I wonder. Guess they did their thinking in the toilet heh?

Seriously all those pictures wouldn't work. You guys want to know what will work? Let me tell you and give you a good solution. Nab one of the inconsiderate idiots. Put him/her on trial for murder and make sure all the news agencies get a heads up on the case so that it will end up in front pages the next day. That will stop those inconsiderate bastards. Hey I have nothing against smokers ok? I can't stop you if you choose to kill yourself. At the very least don't drag others together with you. I do have friends who smoke but at the very least they smoke away from the others.

I once told a friend to quit smoking and you know what he told me? "I quit and I live longer. Calculate the amount of time I spend in hospital and the old folks homes for old age. Might well as I spend that money on cigarettes now and just die earlier. Saves me from all that sufferings". Let's just hope he doesn't spend time on the hospital bed for cancer at 40 living up for another say 10 years. I am not cursing but hoping that bad things doesn't happen here ok?

So to all inconsiderate smokers, "SCREW YOU INCONSIDERATE BASTARDS!". (This includes one of my ex's dad whom I stand up against when he puffed right on my face. He told me he would never let her daughter to be with me. "So be it" is my answer. Just don't ask me which ex was that)

Note: If you want to use this as an article for community service, by all means go ahead but please do give back credits to me by linking(or print out the link) to my blog. I allow you guys to cut out the profanities for public use(yes, someone did asked me if they could modify the harshness)

Other posts on buses and trips here and here.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Don't take the risk

With the recent Easter passed by to commemorate Jesus's death and rise and the news I read yesterday which says Malaysian pilgrim and missionaries(no la not that sex position ok?) being barred from entering Israel to Jerusalem(Malaysians are barred but the pilgrims can always get special permit to enter. Yes this is something a lot doesn't know). So I came up with this new joke. No pun intended for those religious extremists ok? It's just for laughs.

A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land.

While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told him, "You can have her shipped home for USD5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for just USD150."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker was surprised and asked, "Why? Why would you spend USD5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be great to be buried in the HolyLand and also so much cheaper to spend only USD150?"

The man said, "A man died here 2000 years ago, he was buried here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

Happy belated easter guys. Sorry I didn't post this earlier as I was busy the whole week.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

@$$holes will always be in charge

Finally I have some time off to update this blog. It had been tiring and busy all the way for me. Top that with the amount of dinner I had and the little time I can have to spend in the toilet. Well it all led to constipation problems. Anyway just the other day, my friend was telling me how his boss were an @$$hole nowadays. They don't even have a say at the direction the company is going nor do they get to know where the company would distribute budget to. So from his story and mine, up came something. Yes my mind is always twisted. Too bad lol.

The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. Each organ took turns speaking up why they are in charge:

Brain: "I should be in charge because I run all body functions."

Blood: "I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain."

Stomach: "I should be in charge because I process food to the brain."

Legs: "I should be in charge because I take the brain where it wants to go."

Eyes: "I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going."

Then came .....

@$$HOLE: "I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste."

Which led to all the other parts laughing and this made the @$HOLE very mad. To prove his point, it immediately slammed tightly closed and stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.

Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief.

Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly.

Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable.

Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred.

Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body.

Day 6 - All the organs agreed to let the @$$HOLE be in charge.

The moral of the story:
No matter who you are, or how important you think you are, you will find that it is always the @$$HOLE that is in charge. So just live with it or else you will end up suffering for some time like the other organs which proves to be futile anyways. The other moral of the story, always allocate toilet time for yourself no matter how busy you may be.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

132 silly things done? With a twist of course Part 4

If you haven't read the previous parts, they are at Part1, Part2 and Part3

Level 13
Had / Have Braces(cosmetic surgery le)
Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night(and end up with cough, flu, fever, headache an asthma the next day?)
Danced in the moonlight(jump up and down like a monkey waving for a bus better le)

Level 14
Hated The Way You Look(you mean someone other than myself?)
Witnessed A Crime (and do nothing like an average Malaysian?)
Pole Danced(bus stop sign post count?)Questioned Your Heart(heart ah heart why must you beat 70 times/minute and not 400/minute or 5/minute?)
Been obsessed with post-it-notes(label everything including the one next to you in bed)

Level 15
Squished Barefoot Through The Mud(then burn it in fire and make a leg shaped pot. wuahaha)
Been Lost(can't join the cast of the movie la? too long for filming)
Been To The Opposite Side Of The World(you mean hell? you don't need that when you are working in one very day)Swam In The Ocean(and waited for tsunami?)
Felt Like You Were Dying (LOL! being EMO. wait I am tired so am I going to die?)

Level 16
Cried Yourself To Sleep(if cry how to sleep? if sleep liao how to cry? siao ar?)
Played Cops And Robbers(i like being robber because you always get to rob the cops. no meh? oops then wrong game liao)
Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers(color the whiteboard with confusing equations and misled the class counted?)
Sang Karaoke(and make it rain ah?)
Paid For A Meal With Only Coins(try go with a pack of 1 cents for your mcd meal lol)

You guys can continue to wait for the next part lol

Monday, April 13, 2009

If you plan to leave anonymous comments around

note: This article is to give an overview of the topic and the author is not responsible for any misuse of any portion of this article if you decide to break any laws.

Every now and then, I am sure some would get spams on the comment box. Some gets hate comments. How do we deal with that? Be online 24-7 to delete them as they come in? I choose to moderate comments, log details of visitors and not have a chat box for obvious reasons but at times, some people just don't really use their brains to think before they act. Instead, they use their butt to do the job. That is when they just leave an obvious trail leading back to themselves. Cool?

I came in this morning and found a friend complaining about someone leaving a hate comment of his blog. Now, imagine if you have one hate comment like this taken from the site with the IP address next to it.

Two-faced |

Why don’t u just fucking die already?

From ???, 2009/04/12 at 8:38 AM

What would you do with the IP address? It will be like "Oops! Shit! I just screwed up so badly it's beyond help". Say for those IT savvy guys, they would go for an IP locator which would point to the street the guy/girl is from. As the example, it is shown that the IP address comes from Air Itam, Penang using the ISP of TM Net. Next all the user have to do is to send an email to TM Net with the IP address, with the details of the site citing a police report done, the hate comment sender is screwed.

So people, if you really want to send hate comments, go to a cyber cafe far from your house(out of the state would be better). Make sure there are no CCTV in the cafe capturing your face else you are still screwed. Never sign in into any personal sites as they will be a good giveaway of your identity. Comment and just leave. You can always tempt fate by doing that from your home computer but be prepared to get caught. We had seen cases of defamation, threats and false allegations being sent through the internet but little did users know that they will always leave a track if they are not careful.

To those who intend to send me hate comments, I would advice you to do your keyboard a favor and spare it the torture of being pressed so hard that the keys flies out as the comment will never show up. All you would do is leave a trail leading back to you. If you intend to send hate comments to other sites, I bid you good luck. I would advice anyone not to do that to save your butt from getting polished in prison. Several are already facing trial sending anonymous comments. If you insist on being one of them, no one could stop you.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Meaningful Video

Here is something meaningful I would like to share with you guys. Someone sent this to me but I just can't recall who. Look I have short term memory loss from all the stress I am under lately.

132 silly things done? With a twist of course Part 3

Go for Part 1 HERE, Part 2 HERE and Part 4 HERE if you haven't been following this blog closely.

Level 9
Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves(and get your ears pulled and forced to sweep everything back into place again?)
Gone Sledging(i prefer tiring - use tires instead of sledge la)
Cheated While Playing A Game(you mean throw the ball from full court when the other players doesn't expect you to do so? I consider that halal lo)
Been Lonely(expected la when you lead a different life than others)
Fallen Asleep At Work / School(some bosses/lecturers/teachers have this special ability to hypnotize everyone lol)

Level 10
Watched The Sun Set(why must watch sun set can't watch moon set mea?)
Felt An Earthquake(no feel one how?)
Killed A Snake (you mean go Thailand and order the Seh Dam? and then drink the blood?)

Level 11
Been Tickled(kuci kuci. Like that count?)
Been Robbed / Vandalized(vandalized? You think I am a public phone is it?)
Been cheated (everytime we go buy something also we are being cheated one la. You think those shop will sell you things at cost price mea?)
Been Misunderstood(happens when people assume everything)

Level 12
Won A Contest(won but prize not given le. Kena cheated le)
Been Suspended From School(you mean hanged on the lamp post? or they used a giant turbine to keep you in the air above the school ground?)
Had Detention(you mean I detain someone or got detained? or just some bloody prefect make you his stepping stone after a bad day?)
Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident(passenger or driver? if motor one can be superman then be mummyman in hospital ma)

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Crimson Room

roughRecently found this game from HERE out of boredom from all the bloody assignments that keeps on coming overlapping the others. Hey you can't blame me for needing something to stimulate my brains ok? The game is actually created by Toshimitsu Takagi

It's actually a game where you are locked in a room with a pretty girl and you have to find the solution to bed her and get out of the room. Where to find this kind of game else where wo? First you close the curtains, move on to the cd players to put on music, then move on to the bed. Yes there is a bed in the room to make life easier for you. Next you have a personal movie projector just for the romantic scene. Still not convinced? Go play lo. I will come up with the solution for you guys later. So what you waiting for? Waiting for the girl to drop in your own room is it?

I drank too much last night.

What time is it now?

So thirsty.

The bed doesn't seem to be the one I usually sleep on.

Is this a hotel?

No, it doesn't seem to be a hotel.

I'm....fucked trapped in this room.

I have to escape.

A crimson ceiling and a wall....

Solution coming soon!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

132 silly things done? With a twist of course Part 2

I know I know. I haven't been updating this blog for a while. Thanks for the support guys. I know some stalk my blog on a daily basis. Bad news is my mum is in hospital for surgery on her back bone. So expect me not to blog that often. Good news is this would be the second installment of the silly things. Go HERE if you haven't read the first part.

Level 4
Had A Crush On An Older Person(you mean the auntie or the grandma in the old folks home? Would you want to try on a lady like the picture below?)
Skipped School(legally to represent the school?)
Slept With A Co-worker/Classmate(never eat and shit at the same place. never heard of the proverb mea?)
Seen Someone / Something Die (mosquito count? or the bettle you fried with a lighter?)

Level 5
Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Facebook Friends(no facebook le. So how?)
Been To Paris(go Paris also silly ar?)
Been To Spain(Spain also? Sigh)
Thrown Up From Drinking(drank stale milk and throw up count?)

Level 6
Eaten Sushi(you mean the girl named sushi or the japanese food? lol)
Been Snowboarding(and end up with frostbite?)
Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook(like I say I don't have facebook la.)
Been in a Mosh Pit(WTH is a Mosh Pit? You mean the one where Jamal from Slumdog Millionaire jumped into after looking at Amitabh Bachan's photo?)

Level 7
Been In An Abusive Relationship(you mean SM with cuffs and whips? Piak! Aiyak! or you mean some relationship like the picture)
Taken Pain Killers(What you expect? Go undergo a surgery without painkiller la)
Love/loved Someone Who You Cant Have(silly ain't it? I know of people who love celebrities. Does that count?)
Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By(go get a life lol)
Made A Snow Angel(you mean dropping a girl named angel dressed in white from the plane? That would be killing le)

Level 8
Had A Tea Party(i never know tea is bad lol. Then my whole office are full of baldies baddies)
Flown A Kite(fong fei gei and da fei gei can be considered bad la by some people. but fong ji yiu?)
Built A Sand Castle(and run it(the sand castle another kid build with his hands) down with a sand speeder?)
Gone mudding(walking across muddy ground count?)
Played Dress Up(you mean in SM where you are forced to wear the clothes of the opposite sex? and then get some hamsap fellas asking if you are ah gua?)

So guys be patient and wait for the 3rd installment ok?
Ok Part 3 HERE
Part 4 HERE
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