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Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Top 5 Clasification of Wedding dinner guests

Well, this is specially dedicated to a colleague of mine who is getting married real soon. (Note: This is just a faction of the writer's imagination and has nothing to do with real life events and if there are any similarities, it's only by coincidence). Back to the topic, which are the types of guest that gets invited to wedding dinner.

Top #1 : Big shots.. Could be your boss, could be some fat mama, could be some datuks, directors or some rich uncle you haven't talk to since you are 5 years old.
Reason? These are the main sponsors of the wedding dinner, your night and the main point they are rich so it doesn't matter if you haven't seen them since you were a baby or get c4-ed in the office.. Just be nice to them and invite them to the dinner.



Pic src: Here

Top #2 : Colleagues and friend. No matter how reluctant they are to part with the angpau(red packet) money, they will still give you a share of their small shrinking buying power salary when the red bomb arrives. These are generally the type who will be there, eat what is on the table thinking how much money has parted them that night and how to make ends meet after attending your wedding dinner which is the 23rd he/she had in that month alone.



Pic src: Here

Top #3 : The heng dais/ji muis(brothers and sisters aka best men and best women) who will be there to take the blow for you no matter what happens(even if you don't give them an invitation), be it downing several bottles of Johnny Walker, vomiting all over the toilet after the ordeal or your heng dais wearing panties and bras/doing 100 push ups in the same attire/eating bananas off the next guy in the same attire while chauffeuring the bride or the bridesmaids who hold you ransom for all the money they could get from the guys including pawning their last piece of clothing.

Top #4 : The oldies aka uncle and aunties who without fail would ask you when you are going to get married at every opportunity on every outing. These are also the prime group of people who will start singing after downing several glass of drain water aka "longkang sui" aka beer. The choice of songs after grabbing the microphone from the MC of the day range from emo songs like "好心分手" youtube link HERE (better to break up) to even the epic and legendary ears bleeding "Only You".. Nooo!! Not the one sang by The Platters("And You Alone" link HERE) but this with special emphasis on "oh ouuunlyyyyy youuuuuuu" ..



Pic src: Here

Top #5 : The category so called "close relatives" who will come with full armada or full football team family giving only 5 bucks as angpau money eating like they haven't eaten for years. Some would even bring along plastic containers to tarpau aka pack for their auntie's grandma's niece's husband's brother's mother's dog. Good luck dealing with those in this category.. One good solution to rid these is by opening the ang paus at the door and arrange their seatings accordingly depending on amount given which would guarantee a seat in the toilet for this unique category.


Pic src: Here
 

*Disclaimer: The reader by reading this article hereby indemnify the author if they use any of the suggestions in this post as this post is only meant for good humor. No puns intended.

2 comments:

hcvvorld of Travels and Photography said...

wahh no.5 one won't be that bad kua..full armada with rm5 angpow..haha

hcvvorld of Travels and Photography said...

wahhh...no.5 no need to be that hardcore kua..hahaha...full armada with rm5 angpow...lol

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