Courage of Conviction

Well, this is specially dedicated to a colleague of mine who is getting married real soon. (Note: This is just a faction of the writer's imagination and has nothing to do with real life events and if there are any similarities, it's only by coincidence) . Back to the topic, which are the types of guest that gets invited to wedding dinner. Top #1 : Big shots.. Could be your boss, could be some fat mama, could be some datuks, directors or some rich uncle you haven't talk to since you are 5 years old. Reason? These are the main sponsors of the wedding dinner, your night and the main point they are rich so it doesn't matter if you haven't seen them since you were a baby or get c4-ed in the office.. Just be nice to them and invite them to the dinner. Pic src: Here Top #2 : Colleagues and friend. No matter how reluctant they are to part with the angpau(red packet) money, they will still give you a share of their small shrinking buying power salary when the red...

Yes I am back from my long leave and things had somehow settled down for me. A lot had happened since I was away. Another scoutmaster who is close to me went home to the lord. So is another scholarship mate who is in the same college as me. Somehow I felt that life is really fragile. I am going to graduate soon. Results will be out soon and I will see if stopping my blogging activities does really help. The best part? I am employed right after my finals. Actually it should be before as I had confirmed. So what about the cup holder thing? That you will know soon. There is this auntie in the office(not my current office) who is the tea lady and the boss saw her being so lonely and asked me to set her up with a computer so she could spend her time better. Well the setting up part also means I am going to be her personal trainer to train her on how to use it. Anyways down with the training on how to on and go online and stuff then I am back to my work. 2 days after that, she called me from...

It's been sometime since I blogged about the mamak around my place. Read the old post here . The chinese new year had made most shops close for the whole duration so no food for dinner. So as a poor fella I relied on the good old mamak lo. So it's been some time. Now they really have "wifi near the tree". The problem is if I am gonna use my laptop for a long duration, I need electricity right? So I asked the mamak. Me: Neh, wifi kat pokok takde elektrik ke?(neh, wifi at the tree with no electricity?) Neh: Lu duduk kat pokok dulu, nanti wa cari untuk lu.(you sit at the tree first. I will find for you later) Me: OK! 5 minutes later. Neh: Dey tambi, sini(hey, here) *the fella pointing to the back of the tree. Me: Wuah pokok keluar elektrik ke? (Wuah. The tree generates electric?) Neh: Yaya!! Want to know how the tree generates electricity? Here .. ... ....

With the coming Christmas nearing, everyone wants a present. No matter if you have been a bad boy or a good one, you still hope for a present right? Yeah I know at times bribes doesn't work and some waited for years here . No frowns for this Christmas as you are getting all the presents. Here is what you need:- - A pair of socks - A rubber shoes - A hair dryer - Yourself of course - Time(You have about less than a month now which is more than enough) - And lastly Santa himself of course Here is what you do:- Wear the socks. Then wear the shoes. Go for a jog say about 20 minutes. Dry the socks after your jog using the hair dryer(yes don't wash it). Repeat process everyday till Christmas. And now the final step, hang the socks for your present. You will see father Christmas on the floor when you wake up with the bag of presents all for you. Note: I am not gonna be responsible in the event of the death of Santa on Christmas ok? Neither will I be held responsible for anyth...

Yup, I had been busy and having very little sleep for the past 3 months. This is where the idea came from to blog about this. You know you are sleepy when...(you need to sleep soon) - You ask your friend if they want to have "fuck rice"(instead of duck rice) for lunch tomorrow. - You tell your friend that you are busty(instead of busy). - You ask your boss through email if you could "have a sex"(instead of have a sec) with him/her. - You mark the test paper of your children in the below image as all correct. - You feel sleepy during dinner. - You feel even sleepier when you wake up and wash your face. You know you are even sleepier when...(you need to sleep right NOW!) - You say yes when your friend ask you to have "fuck rice" for lunch. - You ask your friend who just say he/she is "busty" if you could grab and feel if it's so. - You get your subordinate into the room, lock the door and starts stripping after he/she ask you if he/she could ...

I should really tag zewt for this since it's accounting related. Well I am sure he would drop by. Hahaha. There was this friend of mine who had just graduated from one of the business school. He searched for a job for some time till he found an ad for an accountant. Then he just call up and was set up with an interview. It's a small business ran by an old man. Below is what that guy told me of what happened during the interview. Boss: I need someone with an accounting degree and I see you have one with good results. This job you see, is mainly because I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me. Friend: Huh? Boss: You see, I worry about a lot of things and one of the major things is I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back. So can you? Friend: I see and how much does the job pays? Boss: I'll start you at eighty thousand. How does that sound? Friend: Eighty thousand dollars! That is a real good deal ...

This blog idea is stuck in my head for the past whole day after the train ride where announcements are made frequently over the loudspeaker and the noisy neighbors at 2.30 in the morning gave me the headache which made this idea stuck so I decided to blog about this. Imagine you are on the plane when you hear this:- "Good morning ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking welcoming you on board our airline. We apologize for the 4 days delay in taking off owing to bad weather and some overtime I had put in the Bar. This is Flight 123 to the US. Landing in US is not a guarantee but we will end up somewhere in the west. And if Lady Luck is with us, we may even be landing on your village farm. Our airline has an excellent record for safety. In fact our safety standards are so high that even the terrorists are afraid to fly with us. It is with pleasure that I announce that starting this year, over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination safe or otherwise. For thos...

What could RM 5 do for you nowadays when the economy is so bad. To some, it's not even enough for a meal at Mc D while to some it means a week's worth of bread. Yes I have known people who ate bread for the whole month and surviving on RM 25 with plain water and bread. We are much more luckier than a lot so to say. RM 5 could also give you the world's fastest pregnancy control method. No it's not a pack of condom. Anyways condoms are not 100% safe either. So some clever guy invented this genius way which is sure to help control pregnancy before it happens. Come on, RM 5 could mean a life an death matter here. Imagine your girlfriend or well mistress getting pregnant. So RM 5 is considered a cheap method. Scroll down to see further down faster Tadaa!!!. There you go the world's fastest pregnancy control method.

After the last innocent kid post here , here is another one. Well kids does says the darnest things but in Malaysia, you never know. LoL! A small kid and his dad were walking on the street whan they saw two dogs having sex. The small kid asked his father "Daddy, what are they doing?" *pointing at the dogs The dad said, "Oh! They are making a puppy". A few days later, the small kid walks in on his parents having sex. The small kid says "Daddy, what are you doing?" The dad replied, "Making a baby here." Guess what the kid say now? The kid said "Hmmmm, can you please flip Mommy around? I'd rather have a puppy instead!"

Sorry that I have been busy lately and would continue to be busy till.... Erm I really dunno till when actually.. I went to the supermarket earlier and saw a small little girl looking at a pregnant lady She asked the lady "Why is your stomach so big auntie?" The lady said "I am having a baby." Then she asked again with her big eyes looking at the lady "Is the baby inside your stomach?" The lady smiled and said "Yes!" Then the little girl asked "Is it a good baby?" She said "Yes. It is a really good baby." The girl give her a surprised look and asked "Then why you eat the baby?" I nearly rolled on the floor laughing out loud with tears in my eyes that moment. Moral of the story: Kids are innocent and those that aren't are hamsap. Wuahahaha

Just the other day I see a free wifi sign on the tree when I go mamak for my supper. Then the next visit I bring my laptop lo since free wifi ma. My main aim? Steal Use their electricity and save on my monthly electric bill lo. See the sign? I then set up everything with the cables done. Guess what happen next? Me - Neh neh, teh tarik stengah glas(like the u mobile ad) Neh neh, kenapa tarak wifi?(How come no wifi?) Mamak - (scratches head) wifi ah? apa itu?(wifi? what is that?) Me - (points to the sign on the tree) Internet la Mamak - Oh itu ka. Lu ikut I mai sini. Kena duduk atas pokok baru ada.(Follow me. You need to sit on the tree only will get connection) Me - WTF!!! So it's just a gimmick like McD near Taylors Subang. You will never get connected. Bloody hell...

Warning:- 18SX post ahead!, Siu di di and Siu mui mui go sleep ok? I am not responsible if you read any further. Yes you read it right. You can die from masturbating. Yes I know what you are thinking -> WTH!!! This is according to what Dr V.M.Palaniappan,Ph.D.,who has been a practising ecologist and an academician in the University of Malaya for a very long time said in his blog. The first when I read it I am like WTH?? Masturbating kills but sex doesn't? Okok. Our doc here argues that the friction creates heat and in turn increases the body acidity which would lower the immune system. Then you get H1N1 and die. LoL. So see it does kill. But wait..... Sex doesn't create friction heat mea? Oh, got lubricant is it? Sorry la I am dumb ma. So young and innocent so I dunno. Wait har. Let's see. Say the friction on the rod. what's the formula to calculate the surface area of s syllinder again? Okok I found it. It's height X 2 Pi radius. Okla I am having wishfull thinki...

Note : If you are here looking for the other type of ngap(gigolo), you are at the wrong place but since you are here why not read this till the end? A "ngap"(duck la) walks into a grocery store and talks to the owner. Ngap - Handsome, got any fresh fruit anot? Owner - No! Ngap - Then fresh vegetables le? Got bo? Owner - No la. Tin food got la. The next day, the ngap returns to the same store. Ngap - Handsome, got any fresh fruit anot? Owner - No! Ngap - Then fresh vegetables le? Got bo? Owner - @@%#^$@%@&%&* NO! NO! NO! I tiau tell you liao yesterday, only got tin food. If you come back tomorrow and ask me the same questions, I'll nail your flippers to the floor. The following day, the ngap walks in again Ngap - Got any nails handsome? Owner - No! Ngap - Got any fresh fruits? Owner - @$^&*$#^&*(*&^%$#^&**&%$#$%^&**$#$%^&&^%$# See i told you already right? There isn't the type of ngap you searching for right?

The front counter girl of a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy. Drunkard - What time the bar opens? Girl - Open 12 noon. About an hour later the same guy called sounded even drunker. Drunkard - Bar what time open??? Girl - Same time la. Told you liao 12 ma. Then over an hour later the same guy called Drunkard - Whaaaat time youuuuuu says theeee bar opens again? Girl(frustrated) - Opens at noon. If you can wait I can get room service for you. Drunkard - Noooo! I wanna gett outt no gettt in!!! Note: The above story was told by a friend of mine who was trying to woo the counter girl at the time this joke happened.

Ok this is a short one. The following happened in one of the medical camps where a retired soldier comes in for his physical checkup. Doc - So, how old are you? Soldier - 68 Doc - What's your height and weight? Soldier - 169 and 76. Doc - When was the last time you had sex? Soldier - 1959 Doc - Isn't that a little too long a time to go without sex? Soldier - I don't think so. Your clock says it's 2123 The doc laughed till the nurse came running in

A man with a broken leg came to see the doc one fine evening. Doc - Wahlau! What happened to you. How come you break your leg one? Man- Doc ah, 25 years ago hor..... Doc - I duwan know what happen 25 years ago la. I want to know what happen to your leg only. Man - Niamah! I am telling you la now. Wait and let me finish can anot? Doc - okok! Man - Like I was saying...25 years ago, when I first started working hor. At night, right after I go to bed, my boss's beautiful daughter came into my room. She asked me if I want anything anot. Doc - then? Man - I said no lo. What you want me to say wo? Then she ask me if I am sure and I say yes. Then she ask again if there is anything she can do for me. I screamed NO! Doc - Then what has this story got to do with your broken leg le? Man - Actually le this morning I finally know what she meant then, then slipped and break my leg lo A loud scream from the room is heard in the clinic after that and the man goes out with 2 broken leg. Moral of the...

Well yesterday was the first time I wrapped a wedding gift for someone. Yes, I don't usually do this but well, it looks ok right? Not bad la for someone who doesn't wrap gifts. Hahaha. Okok now don't you guys come running after me for your wedding gifts to be wrapped ok? Trust me when I say you couldn't afford my service now that I am still busy preparing my assignments and finals. Anyway the following video is dedicated to the newly weds. Listen to it and look at the video. It's meaningful. Talking about marriages, ever have those old aunties asking you when are you getting married or something of that sorts? Do you find the question buggy and it's like a fly hovering all around you? This gets worse when the newly weds is of the same age as you. You would be put into pressure of answering that question. My standard answer? "Auntie, I am still studying la. Not thinking of getting someone pregnant so I can carry my child for my finals!". Yet time in tim...

Warning! This post may be offensive to some people. Read at your own risk. A friend asked me this question over msn. I didn't give it much of a thinking when I am so bloody busy with my assignment and now when I am done with the first of the series of assignment in the next coming 2 weeks, I started to remember his question. So now that I have remembered, I started to give it a thought. Say you are on this island stuck with an ugly fat lady. Okok! I know you guys are sensitive to the word "FAT". SO lets just assume she is fat fleshy ok? So you are one guy who can get all the girls you want in the city but too bad, now you are in the island stuck with miss fleshy. To make matters worse, there is nothing edible or drinkable save for the salty sea water on the island and the next time someone is going to pass by that place in say 2 months. Then the lady came with an offer, do her everytime you need food. Hey even a fat lady has needs ok? Still normal human right? Have emoti...

Ok someone bugged me about posting the continuation of this. Okok! No more bugging already. I will post. The comments here needs some thinking actually and I am busy with my life right now. So I don't know where the next part would be out. Anyway if you are new here, read Part1 , Part2 , Part3 and Part4 first. Level 17 Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't (i wouldn't blog! oops I just did) Made a Prank Phone Call ("hello. handsome you need ah gua service anot?". You better hang up when the guy on the other end says yes) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose (after you got punched and ribena starts flowing out. good also ma. can make more ribena drink) Kissed In The Rain (listen to the piano music count?) Level 18 Written A Letter To Santa Claus (you mean the one that raba kids in supermarket?) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care/Cared About (why must be sun again? can't be moon mea?) Blown Bubbles (with saliva a...

One of my group mate had a bad hungover and was unable to come to class today. That fella practically got wasted after the drinking session which ended at 3 in the morning with him barely able to stand what more walk. He has to be dragged all the way home. Anyway it reminds me of this joke which 3 idiots partied whole night before their test. They were boozing till late night and didn't study for the test which was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of a plan and yes it's a genius one. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt. Then they went up to the exam invigilator and said that they had gone to an out of town wedding last night and on their return journey, one of the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back so they were in no condition to appear for the test. Yes there are some provisions for people who couldn't attend exams for the "most outstanding reasons" a.k.a valid r...