Posts

Showing posts from July, 2009

Screw TMNET!

Image
WARNING : Vulgarism ahead! So siu di dis and siu mui muis go to bed and sleep ok?



Screw streamyxSCREAMyx for slow connections! They cheat us of our money and give us "Best Effort" connection. Maybe this is how they get all those billions in profits. Because of the same old shitty connection they never bother to maintain. Screw TMNUTS. The connection had been making me feeling STEAMyx whole day now. Yes! I mean steam is literally coming out of my head and I am reaching boiling point. Been on the helpline for over 15 minutes and no one bothers to pick up the bloody call. So I have something for you guys at TMNET!


SCREW YOU ALL!!!


If you support my cause here, please drop your supportive comments!

The story of a duck(Ngap)

Image
Note : If you are here looking for the other type of ngap(gigolo), you are at the wrong place but since you are here why not read this till the end?

A "ngap"(duck la) walks into a grocery store and talks to the owner.

Ngap - Handsome, got any fresh fruit anot?
Owner - No!
Ngap - Then fresh vegetables le? Got bo?
Owner - No la. Tin food got la.

The next day, the ngap returns to the same store.

Ngap - Handsome, got any fresh fruit anot?
Owner - No!
Ngap - Then fresh vegetables le? Got bo?
Owner - @@%#^$@%@&%&* NO! NO! NO! I tiau tell you liao yesterday, only got tin food. If you come back tomorrow and ask me the same questions, I'll nail your flippers to the floor.

The following day, the ngap walks in again
Ngap - Got any nails handsome?
Owner - No!
Ngap - Got any fresh fruits?
Owner - @$^&*$#^&*(*&^%$#^&**&%$#$%^&**$#$%^&&^%$#

See i told you already right? There isn't the type of ngap you searching for right?

How to get drunk!

The front counter girl of a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy.

Drunkard - What time the bar opens?
Girl - Open 12 noon.

About an hour later the same guy called sounded even drunker.

Drunkard - Bar what time open???
Girl - Same time la. Told you liao 12 ma.

Then over an hour later the same guy called

Drunkard - Whaaaat time youuuuuu says theeee bar opens again?
Girl(frustrated) - Opens at noon. If you can wait I can get room service for you.
Drunkard - Noooo! I wanna gett outt no gettt in!!!

Note: The above story was told by a friend of mine who was trying to woo the counter girl at the time this joke happened.

1959

Ok this is a short one.

The following happened in one of the medical camps where a retired soldier comes in for his physical checkup.

Doc - So, how old are you?
Soldier - 68
Doc - What's your height and weight?
Soldier - 169 and 76.
Doc - When was the last time you had sex?
Soldier - 1959
Doc - Isn't that a little too long a time to go without sex?
Soldier - I don't think so. Your clock says it's 2123

The doc laughed till the nurse came running in

Hamsapness can kill. Please don't try this at home

A man with a broken leg came to see the doc one fine evening.

Doc - Wahlau! What happened to you. How come you break your leg one?
Man- Doc ah, 25 years ago hor.....
Doc - I duwan know what happen 25 years ago la. I want to know what happen to your leg only.
Man - Niamah! I am telling you la now. Wait and let me finish can anot?
Doc - okok!
Man - Like I was saying...25 years ago, when I first started working hor. At night, right after I go to bed, my boss's beautiful daughter came into my room. She asked me if I want anything anot.
Doc - then?
Man - I said no lo. What you want me to say wo? Then she ask me if I am sure and I say yes. Then she ask again if there is anything she can do for me. I screamed NO!
Doc - Then what has this story got to do with your broken leg le?
Man - Actually le this morning I finally know what she meant then, then slipped and break my leg lo

A loud scream from the room is heard in the clinic after that and the man goes out with 2 broken leg.

Moral of the story? Don…

The story of how Thailand aka Thaikok(cantonese) get its name

Note: This is purely fictional and just for laugh. It is not intended to insult anyone or any country of that matter.

The story starts with the British coming to the Malayas for tradings and the following conversation happens near the border of Malaya and Siam of that time.

British Trader, B - Say man do you know where is that(wanting to know if it's Siam)
Chinese Worker, C - (saw his British boss pointing at a siamnese male instead of the place and doesn't want to look stupid and wanted to impress the boss) Oh, that one ar? Thai Lan lo!
B - What????
C - Thai Lan you know? Lan(D!ck in cantonese)? Cock? Thai Cock?
B - What you mean by Thai Cock? Nevermind, I will just name it Thailand then.
C - Haiya! Kenot la boss. You use Thai Lan then we use what?
B - You said Thai Cock. You can use that. Now get back to work!
C - Ok Boss....

There you go. How Thailand got it's name

I AM BAK!!

Image
I'M BAK!!!


Sorry guys. Been extremely busy and part was that I am lazy to update here. Now that I am back, you guys can wait for my next post. Wuahahaha!!!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...