Tuesday, February 17, 2009

GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM

An obese 300kg man went to see a doctor with complains of chest pain and was ordered to lose at least 75 kg or risk dying of heart attack. As he wondered how the heck he would ever be able to do it, he came across an advertisement in the newspaper for a "GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM".

"Garenti. Ya light!" he say in disbelieve but being desperate already, he called them up and subscribed the 3-day/10kg weight loss program.

The next day there's a knock on his door and when he answers, a 19 year old young lady dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes with a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me!" Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After he is satisfied and done with her, he thinks to himself, "I like the way dis company do bisnes le!" The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens.

On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10kg as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20kg program. The next day there's the knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but a pair of Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can have me." He's out the door and after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. For the next four days, the same routine happens.

Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another 20kg as promised. He decides to go all out and calls the company to order the 7-day/50kg program. "Are you sure you want dis ar?" asks the representative on the phone. "Dis is our most rigorous program le."

"Of cos I want it la. If not why I call? To date you mea?"he replies, "I haven been fellin so good in years just like the feel good channel le".

The next day there's the knock on his door and when he opens it he finds a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but a pair of pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,

"If I catch you, you're mine!"

19 comments:

Myhorng said...

got phone number or not. i think i would like to sign up for the 3 n 5 days package.

Josephine said...

lol
good one!
hahahaha

so, u still wanna gamfei?

Kellaw said...

Myhorng - go get a runner gf then get married and upgrade the plan to a forever plan. sure everyday you will keep fit one. hahaha

Jo - maybe you want to do that to your darling. lol. Me? I still need to gamfei la. spare tyres alot.

小歪 said...

where to click ur nuffnang?
i dun wan u get hungry cox no bread to eat xDD

Kellaw said...

lol 小歪, it's at the side bar or at the bottom of the page. refresh several times only will show up one.

SexyBlackBitch said...

haha!

the fat guy might be gay ya noe???

Kellaw said...

lol. that guy is gay la. read the post again

Sin said...

This is a funny post.. really funny.. hahaha..btw, please, you are not fat k.. take care k.. good day..

Kellaw said...

eh sin show up here pulak...

Sin said...

Emmm.. I'm not supposed to appear here? hahaha.. well, this is a funny post and deserve to give credit right? and in the same time, heh.. you don't need to gam fei k.. haha

Kellaw said...

no ah never say you shouldn't show up here ah. i need to get rid of my Tyre or else can be pillow liao.

Sin said...

heh, where got tyres wo.. and even if u said there's.. it's alway better to have or hug a pillow thn to hug nothing right? provided if the pillow are not too huge .. if u get wat i'm trying to say.. hahaha

Kellaw said...

yahor can be pillow hor. wait la i cut out turn into pillow for you. now pillow too huge liao. need to lepas some angin from it.

Sin said...

Cut for me? no thanks, i like it the way it is and also the position it's "placed".. hahaha..

Kellaw said...

sleeping on it is no good. bad for me and bad for you. hahaha. neck pain and cant sleep then i also feel the pressure on stomach. how? lol

Sin said...

Wa, you really think anyone gonna really sleep on one's stomach a?I actually doubt so.. no matter how comfy it's to do so.. but.. guess wat.. the "pillow" might jz be comfy to hug , right? hahaha

Kellaw said...

oklo i cut out let you hug. since i duwan the tyre there. hahaha

Sin said...

Yer.. i don want.. as wat i've said.. i prefer it's as where it's placed.. i'm not tat ganas ok .. haih..

Kellaw said...

oklo. hehehe

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